It's Sunday, Why Aren't You in Church?

It's Sunday morning and again, we are not in church.  I know we need to go - how will my family learn to become His people if we do not surround ourselves with His people.  I want to go - I want to grow my relationship with my Lord.  I want my children to have a relationship with Him as well.  I want us to learn to walk with Him and put our trust in Him.  So why do I find it so hard to set the alarm on Saturday night so we can wake up and make it to church????? 

That my friends is the million dollar question.  The answer to which is this:

I AM SCARED TERRIFIED!!!!

Why am I terrified??? 

1.  I have this huge fear of the unknown.  And I have this huge fear of not being accepted - and I know that sounds really funny considering churches normally accept anyone - but I have this horrible image in my brain of walking up to the church with my children and not knowing where to go or what to do.  Everyone walks around me like I am nonexistent.  And this image holds me back. 

2.  I have this fear that I will get stuck in a church I do not like simply because my kids enjoy it.  And I know to some of you reading this, that might sound really funny, but to me it isn't.  My children's opinions matter greatly to me and I do not want to drag them from one church to another trying to find one I like.  I feel the end result of that would not be good for any of us.

3.  I have this fear that I will be going to church by myself - that my husband will not want to go with me.  And why this terrifies me so much, I am not really sure.  Part of me feels that there will be this distance between us if he does not go, and I do not want this distance there.  And I want him to want to go with me, not go simply because I bugged him to go.

4.  I have this fear of breaking down emotionally and people looking at me like I have lost my mind.

So I sit here and I struggle.  And we watch church on the television (well, normally just me and the kids because the husband is still sleeping) and I wish every Sunday that I would let go of my insecurities and just go already. 

I really need to put better trust in my God for deep down inside, I know he will not lead me astray.  I know that I am missing out greatly in building a complete body for Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:14-23
Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor.

1 Corinthians 12:27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.